Bobtoberfest 2026: Prost Until You Puke

Another Bobtoberfest has staggered across the finish line, and once again we are left with empty cans, questionable mathematics, damaged friendships, and absolutely no evidence that any of us are qualified to judge beer.

Bobtoberfest 2026 brought together nine of the world’s least respected beer experts for another rigorous blind tasting. Twenty-one beers entered. One emerged victorious. Several were insulted. Travis lost track of which beer he was drinking. Tony never really figured out how scoring worked. Dave insulted the Packers and then disappeared.

It was everything Bobtoberfest was meant to be.

👑 AND THE WINNER IS… SIERRA NEVADA OKTOBERFEST!

Sierra Nevada Oktoberfest claimed the 2026 Bobtoberfest crown with a 6.70 average, completing an impressive climb from sixth place in 2025 to undisputed champion in 2026.

Well… “undisputed” might be generous.

Ryan gave it an 8.5.
Travis gave it a 9.
Erin gave it a 9.

Tony gave it a 3.

Which brings us to our first important finding of Bobtoberfest 2026:

Tony did not understand the scoring rules.

We’re not entirely sure what Tony thought the numbers represented. Beer quality? Golf scoring? Number of Packers players Dave hates? Whatever system he developed, he stuck with it confidently, which is really all we can ask.

Despite Tony’s attempt to sabotage democracy, Sierra Nevada prevailed.

One beer rules them all.

🍺 THE PODIUM

Sierra Nevada wasn’t alone at the top.

Arbeiter Oktoberfest finished second at 6.48, followed closely by Bell’s Oktoberfest at 6.41 and Junkyard Brewing Junktoberfest at 6.39.

Bell’s deserves special recognition as the highest-ranking returning beer, proving that occasionally our opinions remain consistent from one year to the next.

This should not be interpreted as evidence that our process works.

Of the top six beers, five were new to Bobtoberfest, continuing last year’s disturbing trend of newcomers showing up and humiliating established veterans.

Bobtoberfest has apparently become the beer equivalent of a youth movement.

📉 BEMIDJI BREWING: FROM DYNASTY TO DUMPSTER FIRE

We need to discuss Bemidji Brewing Oktoberfest.

Not because they did anything particularly impressive this year.

Quite the opposite.

Younger Bobtoberfest attendees may find this difficult to believe, but there was once a time when Bemidji Brewing didn’t suck.

In fact, they were unstoppable.

2023 Bobtoberfest Champion.
2024 Bobtoberfest Champion.

Back-to-back titles.

A dynasty.

The New England Patriots of Oktoberfest beer.

Except people actually liked them.

After two straight championships, Bemidji appeared destined to dominate Bobtoberfest for years.

Then 2025 happened.

16th place.

That’s not losing your crown.

That’s losing your crown, falling down the stairs, shitting your pants, and discovering someone changed the locks while you were unconscious.

But champions respond to adversity.

They regroup.

They study what went wrong.

They return stronger.

Bemidji Brewing chose a different strategy:

Continue sucking.

They returned in 2026 determined to prove that 2025 wasn’t some bizarre accident.

Mission accomplished.

At this point, the Bobtoberfest Historical Committee has launched an investigation into the 2023 and 2024 championships.

Were those beers actually better?

Were our judges younger and more optimistic?

Was Travis already screwing up the beer numbers?

Did Tony somehow score those years too?

We may never know.

What we do know is that Bemidji has completed one of the most impressive transformations in Bobtoberfest history:

2023: Champion 🏆
2024: Champion 🏆
2025: Holy shit, what happened?
2026: Oh. Apparently this is just who they are now.

Bemidji has gone from the beer everyone was chasing to the beer we keep inviting back so we can point at the trophies and tell newcomers:

“You wouldn’t believe it, but these guys used to be good.”

It’s becoming less of a brewery and more of a Bobtoberfest cautionary tale.

Somewhere, those glorious 2023 and 2024 bottles are looking down in disappointment.

Or maybe those two championships were the greatest statistical anomaly in Bobtoberfest history.

Either way, the Bobtoberfest Competition Committee remains committed to giving Bemidji another opportunity in 2027.

Not because they’ve earned it.

Not because we believe in redemption.

Not because everyone deserves another chance.

Because watching a former dynasty slowly implode has become entertaining.

🪪 McLOVIN CANNOT BE TRUSTED

We need to discuss Travis.

Travis arrived apparently believing he was McLovin, which would have been concerning enough by itself.

Unfortunately, McLovin also couldn’t keep the beer numbers straight.

This creates a minor problem when the entire premise of the evening is:

1. Drink beer.

2. Remember its number.

3. Score that number.

Travis successfully completed Step 1.

The rest remains under investigation.

His scores included 8.11, 7.98, 7.11, 6.66 and 3.14, which certainly look scientific until you realize there is a non-zero possibility that he was rating an entirely different beer.

Therefore, the Bobtoberfest Competition Committee has officially ruled that all Travis scores are questionable but will remain in the official results because fixing them sounds like work.

This is still somehow more credible than Tony.

🧮 BOB CONTINUES TO ABUSE DECIMAL PLACES

While everyone else was generally working within the accepted concept of numbers, Bob once again decided ordinary decimals weren’t precise enough for beer drinking.

Beer #43: 3.456

Not 3.5.

Not 3.46.

3.456.

This implies Bob can distinguish between a 3.455 beer and a 3.457 beer, a sensory ability previously unknown to science.

We’re honored to have him.

🏈 DAVE’S PACKERS ANALYSIS

At some point during an Oktoberfest beer tasting in Minnesota, Dave found a completely natural and relevant opportunity to discuss the Green Bay Packers.

His conclusion:

They suck.

This information had absolutely nothing to do with any beer being sampled.

Dave nevertheless felt it was important that this become part of the official record.

Then, immediately after the sampling ended, Dave disappeared.

Again.

This continues a proud Bobtoberfest tradition best summarized by the historic phrase:

Dave’s Not Here.

He arrives. He drinks our beer. He says something ridiculous. He leaves.

Nature is healing.

🥜 JOAN LIKES DEEZ NUTS

We don’t have additional context.

We don’t want additional context.

The official record simply states:

Joan likes Deez Nuts.

Future historians can sort it out.

💔 THE COMMITTEE IS DISAPPOINTED IN RYAN

Perhaps the most devastating development of Bobtoberfest 2026 had nothing to do with beer.

At some point during the evening, Erin uttered a sentence that revealed something far more troubling than anyone realized:

“Remember how we are disappointed in Ryan’s humor?”

There is a lot to unpack here.

Not “I’m disappointed.”

“WE are disappointed.”

This means Ryan’s humor has apparently been discussed previously.

By a group.

Possibly in a formal meeting.

There may have been minutes.

At some point, a consensus was reached that Ryan’s comedic performance was no longer meeting expectations, and apparently everyone was informed except Ryan.

Ryan has requested copies of all relevant meeting minutes, voting records, and documentation establishing quorum.

Erin has denied the request.

The committee’s ruling stands.

🧪 NORTH20: THE BEER FORMERLY KNOWN AS “MYSTERY”

During the official scoring process, Beer #43 was identified only as:

Mystery

We can now reveal the truth.

It was North20 Oktoberfest.

And naturally, it finished sixth.

Ryan gave it 7.5.
Travis gave it 8.
Tony gave it 7.
Dave gave it 7.
Steve gave it 8.

Bob gave it 3.456.

So congratulations to North20 for finishing sixth while competing under an assumed identity.

We’re not sure why its identity was lost in the first place. Given everything else that happened, Travis probably had something to do with it.

Most importantly, North20 can now receive proper credit for producing one of the six best beers of Bobtoberfest 2026.

Unless Travis was actually scoring something else.

Which remains entirely possible.

💀 AND THEN THERE WAS THE BOTTOM

Every competition needs someone willing to sacrifice their dignity so others can feel successful.

Thank you, Bear Cave Oktobearfest.

With an average score of 3.39, Bear Cave secured last place.

Joan gave it a 1.
Tony gave it a 1.
Steve gave it a 2.

Dave gave it a 6, presumably because he was already thinking about leaving.

But Bear Cave wasn’t alone in the basement. Founders Ultimate Oktoberfest scored 3.55 and Brew D’Etat Heimatmarzen managed 3.61.

That last one earned four separate scores of 1.

At that point you’re no longer judging beer.

You’re conducting an intervention.

🏆 OTHER 2026 AWARDS

Most Questionable Judge: Travis
McLovin knows what he drank. Nobody else does.

Most Confused Judge: Tony
There were rules?

Most Unnecessarily Precise Judge: Bob
3.456. Never forget.

Best Unrelated Sports Commentary: Dave
The Packers suck.

Fastest Exit After Free Beer: Dave
Sampling complete. Dave gone.

Most Unexpected Personal Revelation: Joan
Deez Nuts.

Most Ominous Use of a Collective Pronoun: Erin
“Remember how WE are disappointed in Ryan’s humor?”

Most Concerning Discovery: Ryan
Apparently there is a committee.

Best Beer Competing Under Witness Protection: North20 Oktoberfest
Sixth place. Identity finally revealed.

2026 Bobtoberfest Champion: Sierra Nevada Oktoberfest
6.70 — despite Tony’s best efforts.

🍻 FINAL THOUGHTS

Bobtoberfest 2026 once again proved that you don’t need professional training to judge beer.

In fact, professional training would probably ruin this.

We drank 21 beers. We crowned Sierra Nevada Oktoberfest champion. We learned that Tony can’t follow scoring instructions, Travis can’t follow beer numbers, Bob requires thousandths of a point to express his feelings, Joan likes Deez Nuts, Dave hates the Packers, North20 spent the evening in witness protection, and apparently an entire committee is disappointed in Ryan’s humor.

In other words:

Another flawless Bobtoberfest.

But the final word belongs to Dave.

Before completing his annual disappearing act, he left us with what may be the greatest summary of Bobtoberfest ever spoken:

“PROST UNTIL YOU PUKE.”

Beautiful.

Poetic.

German-ish.

See you in 2027.

Prost! 🍻

One beer rules them all.